I still remember the first time I heard it was fake. I was six, and on the playground at summer school. A friend and I were talking and we started talking about wrestling when another kid on the jungle gym said "Wrestling's fake." This statement wrought my brain with a confusion that persisted for many years to come. This was simply impossible. How could it be fake? I see them bleed, I hear them scream, and I see them go through tables and the such. So I said the most logical response I could think of, "No it's not," I retorted to the boy. He said that if the wrestlers actually did those moves they would kill each other. I disregarded the claims as childish stupidity and went about my life. Throughout the years there were of course many references made to wrestling being fake. I attributed it to adult cynicism. Like how it was crazy that none of the adults believed in Santa or Magic.
As I got older it became increasingly easy to see how everything was done. Through many internet sources it slowly unraveled before my eyes. It left an odd feeling in my stomach. I dreamt of going undefeated an entire career and holding every title. Soon I began to compromise. Well maybe they could have an undefeated wrestler; I just won't hold all the titles. Maybe I'll have one loss, after I'm a legend. Maybe a few losses, but only because they cheated. I compromised more and more until I realized I will lose when they need me to and win when they need me to.
When I first found out I was afraid it would frighten me away from wrestling. I didn't grow up watching fake wrestling. I grew up watching real wrestling. Only when I found out did it become fake. How would this affect me? How would knowing my childhood ideals of grandeur were fake affect how I saw the product that largely defined who I am. Yet every week I found myself continuing to tune in, and I found myself equally entranced by it, but in a newer way each week. I appreciated it just as much, but now in a different way. Soon I appreciated it more than I ever had. The skill it takes to do some of these moves is incredible, let alone the skill it takes for anyone to do them and tell a story with them. How to use big moves in conjunction with small moves, and vice versa. How a story began, progressed, ended, and transitioned was something I could already appreciate, and now I could even apply it to wrestling. It's amazing really.
I am in love with a product that really isn't even the same thing I fell in love with in the first place. I was looking at from two different angles. Two different perspectives, and yet I still wanted it more than anything else. I guess it's almost more of an accomplishment when you can go out there out there and prove yourself in that way. I mean in a sense anyone can go and be unbeatable if it was real. To go out there and be the best in a world where there will be people who try to hold you down, where you have no control over a lot of things that impact your career, where the words you speak, the way you make the subtle movements in the ring, and even the way you lose can determine how successful you can be. To live in that world and still be able to call yourself the best; that takes some doing.
